무슬림에서 기독교로 개종한 이집트인 아브라함의 간증

Joseph Abraham's Testimony (Islam)

신앙간증 무슬림에서 크리천으로 개종한 팔레스타인 에마드의 간증

Emad's Testimony (Greek Orthodox)

Emad's Testimony

I was born in the Gaza Strip to a Christian family who was Greek Orthodox. In Gaza, with a population of approximately one million, there is only about 1% Christians mostly belong to the Greek Orthodox Church. My father, after graduating from high school, attended the Baptist School for Allied Health Sciences in Gaza, and upon graduating, he got a job as a medical technologist at the Baptist Hospital. My father used to go to the Baptist church in town, which was a small chapel on the hospital’s grounds. Since I was a little kid, my father encouraged me and my brothers to attend church and go to Sunday School. We grew up knowing the Lord and loving him. But it was not until I was 16 years old when I accepted Christ as a personal savior and had a personal relationship with Him. I moved to the United States in 1984 to study.

Throughout college, I was affected by all kinds of philosophies and ideas and started inquiring about other religions and thoughts. That made me drift away from the Lord. After graduating, I moved to Houston, Texas to take a job there. My brother moved from Gaza to live with me. He could barely speak English and he wanted to go to an Arabic speaking church. We looked in the phone book and found a listing of the Arabic Evangelical Church. We started going there, and the Lord touched my heart again. I started being active in the singles Bible study group, where I met my wonderful wife Doris. We started dating and she set the greatest example of how the true believer should be. Her love to the Lord and her love to others, caring and helping, brought me closer to the Lord and to her.

We got married in September of 1990, and since then we both have been serving the Lord. Doris was a Sunday School teacher for fourth and fifth grade children, I was a Sunday School teacher for the youth, along with becoming a deacon, and I also lead a church sponsored Bible study class in our house once every two weeks. We had a wonderful life, three boys, good job, and a Christian home full of love until one day, I lost my job. Things started to look gloomy, with bills, rent and a family to support. I looked for a job in Houston, then expanded my search to include the whole state of Texas, but the doors were always closed. I was unemployed for a year, but during that time, the Lord never left us.

He provided with a miraculous way. All our needs were met, our bills were paid. Also during that year, with the difficult times we were going through, our faith in Him got stronger, we were very close to Him and spent more time in praying and wondering about what plans He had for us until one day the answer came through. A job in Seattle. Oh Lord, why Seattle? we were not thinking about relocating to another state. We did not know any one in Seattle, why!! So far away from home, family, and friends, we were wondering.

The Lord eased the way and made the move very smooth and He brought us to Lynnwood. After we got to familiarize ourselves with the surroundings, we started looking for a church to join. we visited several churches but the Lord lead us to Meadowdale Baptist Church, (MBC) where we felt the Spirit of the Lord, and felt very welcomed by the wonderful family of MBC. We started getting involved in the church activities, but we also felt that there was a need for us to start an Arabic Bible study. We started having the Arabic Bible study at our apartment after we met a couple of brothers who had the desire to serve the Lord. Our Bible study group outgrew our small apartment and we were praying for a larger place to meet. Lynnwood Assembly of God gave us a room to meet for a while.

Then we started meeting at Anchor Baptist Church when we needed a larger place. Anchor was too far for the majority of the group members who live in Lynnwood. Pastor Jeff Elliott of MBC and the whole congregation showed us his love and support by offering MBC’s facility for us to meet at. We have been meeting there since August of 1998. We love the lord with all our heart because he loved us first and paid a great price on the cross to redeem us and give us the everlasting life. We love him for who he is, a Mighty God, a Living God who hears our prayers and answers them. and we love Him for all what He has done in our lives.

신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  이집트인 이라크인 바히자의 간증

Bahija's Testimony (Assyrian)

I have blotted out your transgressions!

My name is Bahija. I was born in Iraq, and I grew up in a Catholic background (Ashuria).

I attended church almost every Sunday; and that alone gave me the security that I was complying with my religious duties. Of course, I continually sinned, but I always compared myself to others and believed that I was better off. When my sister and her husband accepted the Lord Jesus as their personal Saviour,

I noticed a major change in their life. They acquired special joy and peace. Since they often witnessed to me about God’s love and salvation, I finally decided to read the Bible to check whether I was on the right track. I began reading Romans 3:10-11 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God." Based on God’s word, I realized that I deserved Hell! Being informed of God’s perfect plan for mankind, I opened John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

On March 5, 1995, I attended a fundamental bible believing church.

I gave my life to the Lord Jesus, and repented of my sins and asked Him to cleanse me and make me his own. The Lord answered me in Isaiah 44:22 " I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee." My life changed with the Lord,

 I received the peace and joy that my sister and her husband have.

For the Lord saved my soul and gave me life everlasting…

 If you would like to discover this spiritual gratification, begin by reading God’s word and visit God’s true church. Read Acts 3:19 "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  이라크인 몬티르 간증

Monthir's Testimony (Islam)

From Darkness To Light

I was born and raised in a conservative Muslim family. Ever since I was ten years old I’ve been reading the Quran on a daily basis and performing my Islamic duties such as fasting and prayer. Then when I was twelve, I started going to the Friday prayer at the mosque next door every week.

As years passed by, my knowledge in Islam increased. I was extremely religious but I had no true relationship with the God I was worshipping; for I always had felt that there’s a barrier separating me from God. That’s why I tried to reach him by performing those duties such as prayer and fasting.

In spite of my religiousness, I felt that there was a great void within me filling me completely. I never knew what my fate was after death…. For I worshipped God on the outside only. But on the inside, I was a slave to many bad habits and lusts. I couldn’t break free from those habits by fasting, praying or trying to lead a spiritual life. What I truly needed was a heavenly force which would free me and break me loose from the bondage of sin.

Through reading the Quran I discovered the greatness and uniqueness of our Lord "Isa (Jesus)" the Christ. He was wonderful and magnificent… for he’s the Word of God… a Spirit of God… and our intercessor in this life and the life to come…. he is close to God… he is the pure sinless child… he came to this world miraculously, for he was born of a Blessed Virgin untouched by man. Add to all that the fact that he lived a life free of sin and lusts – for the Quran says that all Prophets have sinned and asks for forgiveness from God, that is except for our master "Isa (Jesus)" the Christ. The Quran also says that he performed great miracles unmatched by anyone else. All of that made me wonder…. Who is this "Isa (Jesus)? Is he a mere Prophet? Or is he something greater? Why has the Quran given him all these privileges?

With all the confusion I had I though I ought to search for the truth no matter what it would cost! So I endeavored on reading the Quran from beginning to end deeply. That was when I came upon a verse there, "If thou wert in doubt as to what We have revealed unto thee then ask those who have been reading the Book from before thee: the Truth hath indeed come to thee from thy Lord: so be in no wise of those in doubt. [Quran, Yunus 10:94, Yusuf Ali’s translation]".

This verse was the key of answering all my questions and removing all my doubts… so I wondered, who are those who were reading "the Book" before the Muslims?

The answer came to me from the Quran itself! Those are the Jews and Christians – for the Quran calls them "the People of the Book" because they have the Torah and the Injeel (Gospel), and the Quran orders every Muslim who doesn’t understand it to go back to the Torah and the Injeel (Gospel).

That very day, I hurriedly bought a copy of the Holy Bible. I started reading it… in it I felt that the words of our Lord "Isa (Jesus)" cannot be the words of men; for no man or prophet dare say that he is the Way, Truth and Life… "No one comes to the Father except through me [John 14:6]"… "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. [John 8:12]"… I decided that I should study the life of our Lord "Isa (Jesus)" the Christ in more depth, for I was overwhelmed by great passion to know more about his unique character.

I read in the Holy Bible that our Lord "Isa (Jesus)" the Christ came to the world to save man from sin, and to set him free from bondage to the Devil. I realized the truth of the Gospel in my personal life, and I found in the sinless person of our Lord "Isa (Jesus)" the Christ… well, I found in his sacrifice the solution to the problem of sin in my life. For in his crucifixion is the atonement for all my sins and iniquities. I decided to seek him and his precious blood for shelter because he is the one who died instead of me and shed his holy blood for me!

I couldn’t achieve salvation on my own, not by doing good words or my duties or anything else for that matter. So I decided to submit my life to him. On that very day, I bowed my head and asked the Lord to forgive me my transgressions. Finally, I accepted Jesus as my Savior.

Monthir Abdulatiff

My Muslim friend, if you have any question concerning Issa El-Massih, please write me at monthirabdulattif@yahoo.com

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한   이라크인 사미르 간증
Samir's Testimony (Islam)

Mightier than death

I was born into a conservative Muslim family in Iraq. Whilst in The Middle school, I was always disturbed when I heard my teacher explaining how Islam spread by wars and battles lead by Mohamed or his successors.

Even in the Muslim prayers there is no appeal for God to change their manners and behavior but rather their surrounding circumstances. So whilst my teacher was talking about the Islamic heroism of their wars and battles, I viewed them as war crimes that encourage hatred, malice, killing and stealing.

As time passed, I finished my middle school and was forced to join the army.

At the army I became an armored tank driver. When the war between Iraq and Iran irrupted in the early 1980s, I refused to participate in the war. I chose the path of peace and love over the road of killing and destruction. I realized that my choice would result in dangerous consequences; it meant prison time, torture and probably death.

I decided to escape from the army. When I asked my fellow soldiers If any of them were willing to come with me, they refused and I had to escape alone amidst heavy bombardment and dangerous land mines until I miraculously arrived at my House in the city of EL MOUSEL

When I arrived home, I was shocked that my family refused to accept, or even allow me to stay in the house, but rather they tried to force me to go back to the front line to continue the war. So I decided to escape the country to go to Syria.

Unfortunately I was caught trying to cross the border to Syria when two nomad informers for the Iraqi army arrested me. They handed me over to the Iraqi army at city of "Rabbia" where I was tortured severely and left blindfolded waiting to be executed.

Instead they decided to send me to the Iraqi Central Intelligent service in Baghdad to await being court marshaled for capital treason (escaping the military service in time of war is capital treason and in punishable by death).

I spent 16 months in a human army prison waiting for a trial, until I finally went to court and was confronted by the two nomad capture’s who acted as the prosecution’s main witnesses. At this difficult time I prayed for God to deliver me from this dangerous situation. Mysteriously enough, the court set me free for lack of evidence because one of the two witnesses was deaf and blind and so not able to testify legally before the court. At this very moment I felt the deep love of God, who delivered me and I felt more confident about him.

Later I was forced to go back to participate in the ongoing war and I found myself driving a tank one more time. I decided to escape again regardless of my past escape experience. This time I fled to the Iraqi City of Kordestan towards the Iranian boarder.

For 400 miles I walked through minefields and climbed mountains until I arrived at the boarder. There I was detained in a refugee camp that looked more like a prison, where we were forced to practice the teachings of Islam.

So I decided to run again, this time to Pakistan, for three days and three nights I had to walk with no food or water till I almost died.

I was homeless in Pakistan for a year until I decided to cross over to India despite all the danger at the boarder because of the tension between India and Pakistan. Once again God delivered me miraculously. During all that time I felt that God was always by my side protecting me from all the danger not knowing what good he was preparing for me.

God started dealing with me directly when I arrived at Katmandu the capital of Nepal, south of China. There I got sick and had to go to the hospital where I met a Christian nurse that worked in the hospital’s "Christian Committee".

She introduced me to a community of missionaries from all over the world. They were living in the same place called Della M House.

Those people came to this remote area for the sole purpose of serving Christ. They went to prisons, hospitals and poor areas to preach The Gospel of Jesus. I was invited to go to their house and I didn’t hesitate to do so. When I went there I saw simple people full of love, benevolence and the desire to help the poor in the name of Jesus who gave himself for all the humanity.

I stayed in their house for thirty days receiving the best medical treatment by every one there. That time was the best time of my life; I learnt about Jesus the loving God who had always protected me all my life. Every morning we would gather around the breakfast table, to sing praises, and to study The Bible as if the Lord Jesus himself was with us. Later in the day each missionary would go to his or her ministry.

There I learned more about Jesus, and about praying for other people, as well as praying before eating and The ‘Our Father’ prayer too. They told me about the atoning death of Jesus. I felt so loved by those people because I was persecuted and looking for peace.

Although they asked me repeatedly to stay with them, I made a bad choice, and decided to leave them to run after that phantom dream called freedom.

So I left them and went to Thailand, and not so long after it I found myself lingering amongst cities and ports exhausted. Until I felt so helpless that I decided to go back home where killings were widespread.

When I went back I didn’t care what would happen to me because I trusted in Jesus’ love for me no matter what. As soon as I arrived I was arrested and interrogated by the Iraqi intelligence service where they imprisoned and tortured me. Later on I was sent to court falsely accused, and they hoped to convict and executed me

I went to court full of faith in the Lord’s love and care for me. The court ruled that I would be imprisoned for 20 years instead of executing me. I was overwhelmed with joy that they were not going to execute me. They sent me to the central prison as a political prisoner. I spent one year there until the Iraqi government was forced to set all the political prisoners free (eight Iraqi officials were taken as hostages by the Kurdish rebels and they were exchanged for all the Iraqi political prisoners).

As soon as they released me, I decided to go back to that missionary house in Katmandu, where I first encountered the love of Christ. But whilst I was planning my departure, the Iraqi army invaded Kuwait and I was forced again to join the army. One more time I escaped from the front line to the Saudi boarder towards the American troops stationed there. But the Saudi army arrested me instead and I was once again imprisoned for 18 months in a desert cage not even fit for wild animal.

The Lord strengthened me and I endured this tough time until I was released. I managed to escape to the United States where I met my fellow

Evangelical Christians who helped to live and walk with Jesus. I am will always be thankful to the Lord that he never forgot me but instead he led me from the darkness and into the light of the Gospel.

Glory to God forever and ever, Amen.

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  시리아인 자이드의 간증
Ziad's Testimony (Islam)

The Road From Damascus

Ziad was born and raised in Damascus, finishing his schooling in this historic capital of Syria. Most of his life, Ziad had been a practicing Muslim like everyone else in his devout family. He would often accompany his father, his three brothers, and some neighbors to the mosque for Friday noon prayers and frequently for prayer on other days. The rest of the five daily prayer times he would observe at home or at work. Not once had he failed to observe the month of fasting since his boyhood.

After graduating from the state University, Ziad moved to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, where he worked for several years as a civil engineer. While he was in Saudi Arabia, he continued to participate in all the Muslim religious duties, as well as to make the pilgrimage to Mecca. At times he wondered about the Injil and the Tawrat, but he would brush these thoughts aside for he believed that through his traditional religious training, he knew all he needed to know about the Holy Bible and about Jesus Christ. Yet, according to his testimony, "what I had heard from my Christian friends in Damascus and had seen in their lives, continued unanswered for many years."

In 1979, Ziad, along with his wife and young daughter, Ghada, went to Germany for one year of specialized training as provided by his employer. During the family's stay in Germany, Ghada became very ill and was admitted to a hospital. After receiving medical care for 4 days with no improvement, the doctors seemed resigned to her imminent death.

Feeling overwhelmed by the scene of his daughter's paling face, Ziad left her room with a heavy heart, and returned to the waiting room. There he sat motionless, yet agonizing, for a few moments, until he noticed a table in the middle of the room which contained books and magazines. He saw two recognizable books -- an English version of the Holy Bible and a German version of it. He got up and walked over to the table and picked up one.

As he returned to his seat, he held the book closed while his memory took him back to some sayings of Jesus Christ which he had heard from his former Christian friends in Damascus. Recalling one saying, he eagerly opened the Book that was in his hand and directed by the Holy Spirit, began searching for the passage. When he found it, he began reading it silently:

I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (John 14:13,14).

Seeing the willingness of the Son as expressed in these verses gave Ziad an abundant hope. He lifted a warm prayer to the Almighty God in the name of Jesus. His only request -- that his "dying" daughter would be healed.

"Immediately I felt a profound tranquility and assurance," said Ziad. "I left the waiting room filled with unprecedented joy, seeing light surrounding me. As soon as I came into Ghada's room, I rushed to her bed and hugged her gently, saying, "Ghada my sweetheart, god will heal you."

The certainly with which Ziad made this statement even astonished him, but he knew deep in his heart that God had answered his prayer.

The tears which had dropped from his own eyes onto Ghada's cheek as he embraced here, Ziad wiped off. With tears of joy still clinging to his eyes, he turned to his wife and said, "I have asked God in the name of Jesus to heal Ghada. Never before have I prayed so fervently, nor so simply in such a special way. Somehow I am assured that God has answered this prayer."

Indeed, Ghada was healed. Two days later, the doctors released her from the hospital. They could find no reason to detain her.

Since this amazing answer to Ziad's prayer, both Ziad and his wife have experienced the transforming work of God in their lives. They know the truth about Jesus Christ and proclaim their faith in Him. Later, Ghada followed them on this path; she too now believes that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  레바논인 나일아의 간증
Nayla's Testimony (Maronite)

God So Loved The World!!!

I am testifying a miracle that happened to me in January of 1991. Before then, I had a good life. Everything was going well with me. My family was great, so was my new marriage. My job was fine, my health was great… But something was missing! Life was vanity and valueless most of the times! Eventhough I had it all, I felt in need! This inner sense of loneliness tore me apart; I felt guilty being unthankful and yet, God was far away from me. I spoke privately with priests, but they were of no help! My husband and I kept our promise to read together the Bible after marriage and the more we read, the more we realized how far we were from God’s truth! We decided to try out Bible Believing Churches. God lead us to a small, beautiful church which was based on the ‘SAVIOUR`, the TRUTH, the ROCK.

We heard fervent Psalms to the Lord which we had never heard before! The sermon was heart striking, Jesus was the theme. We heard: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. Romans 5:9. We cried and repented from all our passed, present and future sins. We believed in the Lord Jesus to cleanse us from all sins and to save us from death, eternal death that is!

He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 3:18.

On that special day, we believed in Jesus as our only personal saviour and received peace and joy in our heartsl I filled my inner vacuum with the Lord’s promise: He that hath the son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. 1John 5:12.

My husband and I have been reading and studying God’s word since then, and we’ve grown very much spiritually! Reading, understanding and fulfilling His Word is what a True Christian should do. I urge any person who doesn’t prefer to live in darkness, or ignorance, to search for the TRUTH, the word of God. Jesus said: I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  레바논인 힐다의 간증
Hilda's Testimony (Maronite)

The Testimony of Hilda From Beirut

I was born in Beirut in 1965. When I was 9, the war started, and with it, the long devastating years of all the Lebanese started. With this war, and my house in the midst of demarcation line, questions began to haunt me day and night. Is this life? Death was our daily bread, tears and destruction everywhere.

My parents, being from Christian background, could not answer my questions as they themselves did not experience Jesus as their Saviour. I started to look in all directions, not knowing that Jesus Himself was looking for me. My elder sister at that period experienced Jesus and told me about him. But, I wanted to be sure of this new, born again thing, so I started asking God to reveal Himself to me. I wanted to know peace that these believers claim. I wanted life and eternity.

After reaching the edge of death myself for three times, I tearfully asked Jesus to take over my life Jeremiah 29:13. At that specific moment on 25 April 1982, no words

can explain, no books can describe what Jesus did to my life! John 14:27

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  레바논인 하이탐  간증

Haytham's Testimony (Druze)

Nothing but the Truth

I was born to a nominal Druze home in Lebanon. The Druze who prefer to be called El-Mowahideen, believers in one God, are an Islamic sect that began to spread during the Fatimid empire (988 AD) ruled by Imam Al-Hakim B'Amr-Allah. Al-Tawhid (Unitarianism) believes in Re-incarnation, the Ancientness of the world, and the incarnation of God in man's image. Reincarnation is believed to be God's provision for a soul to live many different lives in order to give that soul a fair chance before judgement day.

I personally did not experience reincarnation and I do not know anyone who may have. Although I was not raised in the Druze faith, I was taught the Druze morals and values that are very similar to the Judeo-Christian values. As an ordinary member (Jahill), I had simple knowledge of my religion's faith and practices. I was still very interested in learning about life, death, God, and spirituality. Despite my many attempts to understand God in the Tawhid faith, I came out empty handed. There was always emptiness inside of me. Unfortunately, my experience of the civil war pushed me away from religion and God. I was actually bitter toward God for "causing" such destruction and killing, so I decided to rely on my strength, intelligence, education, etc.

I moved to the United States to continue my education. Immediately, I got swept by the "rock-n-roll" wave and all the "fun" things that came with it. I eventually ended up doing what felt good including drinking alcohol, using drugs, and sex to fill the void. All those experiences gave me pleasure that was short lived. I became very interested in the self-help movement. I started on a quest to find the "God within". I attended seminars and was eager to hear any wise man that claimed to have the answers to life's questions. I heard many men, attended many seminars, and read many books, but I was still hungry for the truth.

One day I received an invitation in the mail to listen to an evangelist who was coming to town. When I mentioned that to one of my Christian friends, my friend encouraged me to go and offered to go with me. In the meeting this man of God asked several questions that got me thinking. "If you die today, do you know where you would go: heaven or hell?" He made many claims about Jesus that piqued my curiosity. "Jesus has removed the barrier between man and God." "If you want to end the separation between you and God's family, receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior." At the end of the meeting when the invitation was made to ask questions, I stepped forward. That was the beginning of my personal relationship with the God of the universe. Today I believe that I will live with God and His people for eternity because I have accepted God's sacrifice instead of my own. I could not have worked enough or given God enough for my salvation if I had lived hundreds of lives over. I have been forgiven through the life, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

My life has been completely transformed. My peace with God is established on His forgiveness of my sin. I have peace with others as a result of His empowering me to forgive. I have peace within me because God's Spirit abides. God has restored my hope in life when He gave me the gift of faith and the treasure of His scriptures. I no longer depend on other people's acceptance; God's love for me is unconditional and endures forever.

My friend - give your life over to Jesus and believe on Him. God's family is eagerly awaiting you.

[신앙간증] 이슬람에서 기독교로 개종한  레바논인 타니아 간증
Tania's Testimony (Druze)

Testimony of Tania - A Druze from Lebanon

I grew up in a happy home but I do not remember being happy.  My parents had always provided me with everything I needed however I never felt happy or satisfied.  The most striking memory from my childhood was of me lying in my bed in the middle of the night and crying because I wanted to go home.  I was very confused at that time because I didn’t understand why I felt so out of place in my own home and among my own people.

I grew up in the United Arab Emirates and was exposed to religion from a very young age.  I remember my classmates in school talking about being Muslim and about how they needed to fast during Ramadan, and I remember my Christian friends talking about their Christmas and Easter plans and going to church.  I also remember frequently being asked if I was Muslim or Christian.  These questions were almost always followed with a “so what are you?” question to which I would reply “Druze”.  In the beginning I didn’t know what that was and how that was different from these other 2 religions, but I new it was different.

Our home was not a religious one, my parents never prayed in any obvious way and God was mentioned frequently but almost as an after thought.  As an Arab I grew up hearing ‘inshallah’ and ‘alhamdullah’ frequently but not a lot was said about Him except that we loved God and that all we needed to do was believe in Him.  Nothing was said about exactly how to believe in Him.

My grandmother a “shakha” talked about God quite a bit but never with joy and always with resignation.  He was only mentioned by her, and by most of the people I knew when bad things happened but never out of love or joy.  There was only one person who was different and that was my aunt.  My aunt had given her life to the Lord and come to know Jesus when she was a teenager and even though her family disapproved severely, and still do till today, she lived her life with the name of Jesus on her lips and the hope and joy of her salvation in her heart.  She was the one who had something that no one else I knew had…peace.  Her peace came despite her circumstances (she had a very hard life because of her husband and still does till today) and was so powerful that it was able to comfort those who noticed it.  My siblings and I always went to her for prayer; we knew that her God was different and that if she asked of Him it would be heard. 

As I grew older my own confidence that I was a good person and that I was going to be with God when I died began to shatter. I was very idealistic when I was younger and I believed in the goodness of people.  I believed that the world could be a heaven on earth if only we humans would love one another and care about each other.  My idealism began to die as I was faced again and again with the reality of the human being.  No matter how ‘good’ someone seemed there was always a limit of how much they could sacrifice or give.  My biggest disappointment was myself. The more and more that I became exposed to the world and began to react to the world the more I realized what an awful human being I was.  I realized that I was very selfish and self focused, I would complain all the time and would get jealous.  My heart was able to do things like hate and be angry it was also able to lie.  I began to wonder what the measurement of good was.  How good did I have to be to go to heaven and was I good enough.  My mom always said that God knew our hearts and that He knew that deep down we were not that bad…but my dilemma was in trying to find out how much bad was ‘not that bad’?  Would only murderers and rapists go to hell?  Would everyone else go to be with God? What about people who hated would they go to hell?  How much hate was too much?  All these questions went unanswered because I couldn’t imaging that heaven would have people who lied in it or people who cared about themselves more than others.  I also didn’t understand what God would do with all the religions that already existed.  What would happen on the Day of Judgment would He judge each religion according to its belief? And if so what were the people going to do if they hadn’t done enough good to out-way the bad, and my repeating question was how much was too bad and how much good was needed for every bad committed.  What if I had prayed one prayer too little, or drank a sip of alcohol? What if I had only one hateful thought? Would God be so strict that only one lie would make Him send me to Hell?  How would I know?   Everyone around me said”you’ll find out when you die” but that would be too late!!! Once I was dead I couldn’t change the way I lived my life…I needed to know now so that I could do what was required in order to get to go to heaven.

I moved away from home when I turned 17 to go to university in Beirut. With all these questions in my head I was very confused and felt very lost.  My depression became very severe.  I began to think that if I could just stop living the pain in my heart would be over.  Thoughts of harming myself came to me frequently; I would joke to friends in college telling them that I was going to kill myself.  I felt empty and cold on the inside, it was like my soul was already dead but my body kept moving.  I felt alone and completely isolated, I was away from my parents, my friends had left me and I had no one to turn to.  So I turned to God.  One night I wrote a letter to God.  In that letter I asked Him to tell me the truth.  I wanted to know what the way was, was it Mohammad, was it Jesus, was it through reincarnation and the purifying of my soul because of hardship (like the Druze believe) or was it the goodness of my heart.  I asked Him to show me without people trying to deceive me.  I sealed that letter and hid it between my books and prayed all night that “He would show me the Truth”.  The Lord says in His word “Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, Knock and it shall be opened ”  that night I asked the Lord with all my heart I told Him that He had to tell me the truth because I really wanted to know so that I could be with Him.   He did not answer right away…it took a whole year.

I graduated from university and was waiting to see where I would go to graduate school.  All the schools I applied to rejected me and my depression got even worse.  As a final resort my parents decided to send me to America, they thought that I had a higher chance of being accepted if I was actually in the USA.  The only person they could send me to was my aunt (The one who loved Jesus).  I didn’t know it at the time but that was God beginning to answer my prayer.

I went to live in the States with my aunt and cousins.  In the first few months I was stuck home alone most of the time because I still did not have the necessary paperwork to get a driver license and my cousins had to go to work.  I was home alone a lot but I would go to church and bible studies with my cousins because it would have been rude not to, considering I lived in their house.  I would sit in church and tell myself not to listen to what the speaker was talking about, but I had underestimated the power of worship. That was how the Lord finally broke me, it was the singing.  Every time the congregation sang to the Lord I began to cry.  I didn’t know why I was crying but I couldn’t stop.  The words of amazing grace felt like they were talking about me a soul who was lost and was so desperate to be found once again.

I began to ask questions like” How can God have a son? Why would God become a human being? Who was in heaven when God was here on earth? And how did He fit here on earth?”  Every time I asked a question my cousin would open his bible and give me the scripture that would have the answer.  On Christmas Eve I was given my first bible as a present and I opened it wanting to find the truth which I now had a feeling existed within its pages.   I also began attending a bible study on the book of Revelations (last book of the bible) with my aunt and began to realize that time was running out.  The last book of the bible talks about God’s return and His judgment on the people of the earth.  It talks about the prophecy of what is to come and How Jesus will be coming back to take His church (believers) before the hardship truly begins on earth.  That book made me want to be very sure about whose side I would be on the day that Judgment would take place.  I began to read the Gospel of John and was struck with how clear the bible is about Jesus.  In John 1: 1 it says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” and then in John 1: 14 it says “And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory as of the only begotten from the father, full of grace and truth.”  Also I was surprised to find that there were verses from the bible that talked about how awful man was and that there were none that were good enough to be with God.  In Romans 3:10-11 it says “as it is written.’ There is none righteous, not even one; There is none who understands, there is none who seek for God’” and in Romans 3: 23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”.  That meant we would all go to hell all of us were bad and God says that the price of sin (all sin big or small) is death (Romans 6 :23).  But then the Lord provides a solution “for God so loved the World that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life,  for God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him (John 3:16-17)”  So Jesus paid the price of my sin by dieing instead of me, so if I believed in Him his payment would cover me and I would be able to be with God without my sin interfering.

God had finally answered my prayers.  By isolating me in the USA alone with only His book and His people as a guide He showed me that the ONLY way was through Him.  On January 7 1999 I knelt down and asked the Lord to forgive me of all my sins and then I asked Him to come and live in my heart.  The minute I prayed peace came and dwelt in my heart.  The Lord says that He sends us His comforter which is the Holy Spirit; that night the Holy Spirit came into my heart. I began reading my bible more intensely and was filled with a hunger to know more about this God who died and rose again in order to insure that I be saved.

 I will never be alone again, even though some days are hard and the distance that my decision has led to between me and my parents is difficult.  His peace never leaves me.  Since I made my decision I have gone through trials and hardship but the difference this time is that I am never confused or lost because I know that all things work together for those who love the Lord and that He is in control.  I have a peace that I never had before an inner quietness that is not shaken by any of life’s troubles and pains.  I also have an understanding now of why I exist and what my purpose is.  I know that I belong to the family of God and that my true home is up in heaven with Him. He said that in His father’s house there are many mansions and that He has gone up there to prepare a place for us so that were He is that we may also be.  That promise among all the others that He provides fills me with the comfort of knowing that I am loved and taken care of and that I will never be alone again.

My family has had a very hard time accepting my decision and although it hurts me to hurt them I know that the Lord will honor my obedience and that in prayer ALL things are possible… including their salvation.